A Heart Divided Ch. 03
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It seemed like a wonderful cycle of intimacy: as we spent time together, we connected more and opened up more to each other. The more that happened, the more physically and sexually involved we got, which made us feel closer and want to open up more. When a relationship reaches that point, it is inevitable that it will continue until there are no limits, no boundaries.
There really wasn’t (for me at least) any conscious considering of, “should we begin having oral sex now?” or ” should we be naked together?” or “is now the time to begin having sex?” Instead, our relationship continued to experience more vulnerability and more time together and more exposing of our souls until the physical acts seemed natural and appropriate- until it would have felt wrong not to be progressing to another stage of physical connection.
By the time Valentine’s Day arrived, I was no longer thinking of my relationship with Gina in terms of what I could get away with while Lynn was gone. Gina and my relationship had taken on a life of its own, and introducing sex to the relationship was right- almost overdue. No woman other than Lynn had known me as well as Gina did, and putting aside my history with Lynn, I would say Gina and I were much closer emotionally than I had been to Lynn in over a year.
I realized that if Lynn had returned that month, it would have felt wrong to have sex with her. I would have felt like I was cheating on Gina. And yet at that point Gina and I still had not had sex. But unless I was seriously misreading her, that was going to change soon.
For Valentine’s Day, I reserved a table at The Caleb Tanner House- a well-reputed restaurant a half-hour from campus. It was an old mansion that had been converted into a restaurant and ball room and named after the person who had owned the house a hundred years ago. It reeked of opulence, but the owner was a friend of mine, and I was not only able to secure a good table but also a private tour of the mansion. There was a good amount of art work in the building, most of it from the owner’s private collection. He was a knowledgeable art fan, which was the basis of our connection. I only told Gina to dress very nice and be ready to be picked up at 6. She had smiled, raised an eyebrow, and promised to be ready.
When the evening came, I pulled up to the parking lot of her apartment complex. I was sad and a little embarrassed that I couldn’t go up to her apartment to greet her, but we were still keeping things a secret, so…
She came walking down the stairs, and I took the risk of getting out of the car to open the door for her. I would have needed to stand, anyways- I was so dazzled by her that I couldn’t stay in my seat. I straightened out my black jacket and used my finger to pull my bow tie a little looser. I hated formal wear, but if that was the price of seeing Gina dressed like this, I would gladly pay it.
She wore a dark green gown that was form-fitting but not tight or slinky. It covered her shoulders up to her neck, but in the front it dipped low enough to give a hint of cleavage. The sleeves came to just past her elbows and the dress fell to mid-calf. She walked comfortably in her low heels and carried a small hand-held purse. She had styled her hair up, exposing her neck in a way that was graceful. She looked ready for a dinner with foreign dignitaries. I was glad I had gotten my car cleaned and detailed that week. I took a few seconds to take in the sight, and she indulged my appreciative stare.
“Gina…you are breathtaking. I…I am honored to be seen with you this evening.”
She smiled knowingly and took the hand I offered to help her in the car. “I’m not overdressed?”
I kissed her cheek and said, “No, not at all. But you’ll certainly turn some heads nonetheless.”
Once she was seated, I closed her door. Beginning to worry about being seen by a student, I hurried around to my side of the car, thankful for the dark of the early evening.
Gina pressed me for details on where we were going, but I evasively replied, “Somewhere nice that I don’t think you’ve ever been before.” She pushed for more, but I smiled and said, “You’ll see,” which elicited squeals of happy frustration and anticipation.
When we were about halfway there, I pulled over into the parking lot of an old country store that was closed for the night. I reached over to the glove compartment as Gina’s eyes followed me with a questioning look. Pulling out a small, long box with a bow on top, I handed it to her. She looked at me a quizzically and said, “In a parking lot?”
“A gift for you. I’d like you to wear it to dinner.”
Opening the box, her eyes got wide and she slowly lifted up a sparkling gold necklace with three emerald drops in the center.
“Gareth!” She was otherwise speechless. She held it up to her neck and said, “It’s beautiful…and it matches perfectly! How did you know?”
I smiled and shrugged. I istanbul escort had hoped she would wear green- the emeralds matched her eyes and would look amazing on her. But just in case, I had a ruby one under the armrest and a sapphire one under my seat. Gifts for a later date, perhaps.
“Let me put it on you,” I said softly, reaching out to take the necklace. She leaned closer to me, closed her eyes, and shivered when the cold metal touched her skin. When I had latched it, she ran her fingers along the gems, then suddenly leaned over and grabbed my head. She gave me a fiery kiss that got me thinking I wouldn’t mind skipping dinner. When she pulled away and sat back in her seat, she said with a hint of regret, “I didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s Day.”
“Are you kidding? You are the best gift, Gina. Just getting to spend a nice evening with you and seeing you in that dress is all I could ask for.”
“Keep this up, and you’ll see me out if it, too.”
I smiled and groaned, starting the car back up. Gina put her hand on my thigh for the rest of the drive.
When we pulled up to The Caleb Tanner House, driving through wrought iron and stonework gates, Gina’s eyes went wide and she said, “Whoah! Are you serious?”
I smiled at having attained the desired effect. There was valet parking, of course, and my late model Toyota looked out of place among the luxury cars that were lining up in front of us. Entering the house, we were both so occupied with taking in all the beautiful décor that we hardly noticed when we had reached the maître d’s stand. He acknowledged my reservation and escorted us to a candlelit table for two that was adjacent to a wall of glass overlooking the well-lit garden. There was a bottle of wine waiting for us, and the maître d’ poured two glasses, saying “Compliments of the house.”
“Gareth, this is…this is like something I’ve only seen in movies. This is amazing.”
“I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy your company, Gina.”
She gave me a look that showed both appreciation for the compliment and indication that she thought lines like that were a little corny.
Our meal was outstanding, as I had expected. The conversation was comfortable and didn’t manifest the sexual tension I was feeling. I enjoyed knowing that there was still another surprise after the meal, one I hoped Gina would enjoy.
After we had declined dessert, my friend came to the table and introduced himself to Gina. “Good evening, I am Terrence, the owner of The Caleb Tanner house. I hope you and your husband are enjoying yourselves this evening?” Because our friendship was mostly professional, Terrence had never met Lynn and wasn’t likely to, so I might have given him the impression that I was coming there with my wife. The fact that Gina wasn’t wearing a ring didn’t seem to register with him, or else he was astute enough not to draw attention to it. Nonetheless, Gina subtly put her left hand under the table and out of sight. She glanced at me, then assured Terrence that she was having a wonderful time.
“And I trust that dinner was to your satisfaction?”
“Yes, and so much more. Please give my compliments to the chef,” she said, seeming surprisingly in her element.
“Would you like to pass those compliments along yourself? I would like to take you both on a private tour of our facilities.”
Gina spun her head to look at me, and I just smiled. Taking Terrence’s extended hand, she stood up and I followed them out of the dining area. Terrence led us through the kitchen and we greeted the chef. Gina praised his dishes and his crew. We moved on through locked doors and into a hallway. Terrence pointed out the artwork on the walls, noting the ones of special interest. “I’m sure Gareth could tell you a lot more about these pieces than I could- he helped me pick some of them out.” Gina gave me a surprised look, and I leaned in to whisper, “Old friends.”
Gina even had a few good observations on the art, making the professor side of me proud at her learning. But as fun as it was seeing the art and architecture during our 30 minute tour, the best part of the evening was when the tour ended in the ballroom. We walked into a wide open space as Terrence spoke of the original design and the modifications he had made. We both tuned him out.
Walking into the ballroom, it was impossible not to look up. The ceiling had been converted into a large glass dome. Oddly, my first thought was that the cleaning bill must be enormous. It was a clear night, and the moon shone through the ceiling, lighting up the room with no need of electric assistance. Because the house was settled a bit outside of town, there was almost no light pollution. So looking up, we could see hundreds, maybe thousands of stars. It was stunning.
We weren’t even halfway into avcılar escort the room when Gina stopped walking. I tore my eyes from the view above to look at her. She was almost pale, her eyes wide with wonder, scanning the whole sky, trying to take everything in. We had been holding hands during that part of the tour, and her grip on me tightened. She tugged my arm, drawing me close to her. She seemed dizzy, almost faint. She leaned her whole body against mine and rested her head against my shoulder, never taking her eyes off the stars for a second.
I wrapped my arms around her and she responded by doing the same to me. We stood there in a chaste embrace, Gina staring at the sky while I stared at her. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes and her breathing quickened. Terrence, my wise friend, had quietly backed out of the room. I don’t know how long we stood there, surely no less than 10 minutes. I looked at the sky again, wondering what she saw there. I looked at her face again, noticing that she never cried but still had water in her eyes.
I reflected on how fragile she was. I didn’t think she would have been able to stand on her own in that moment. My arms were under hers, helping to support her. Gina- who was so strong and who asserted herself, and who had such confidence- was breakable. There was something being revealed, something about her I didn’t know- so much I didn’t know! A thought occurred to me in full clarity- Gareth, do not fuck this up. Do not hurt this treasure of a woman.
Maybe I was just a convenient prop, maybe I just happened to be the lucky guy standing near her in that moment. But I loved knowing that she leaned against me and wanted me to hold her in her weakness. I still didn’t know if I was just a fling for her or if there might possibly be a future for us, as I was beginning to hope; but I was content to believe in that moment that Gina loved me, and I wanted to tell her that I loved her.
After standing in silence for so long, I put my lips on her temple and kissed her gently. Deciding it was worth the risk of scaring her, I began, “Gina…”
My voice seemed to draw her back into the present. She turned her head up and looked into my eyes. I couldn’t name what I saw as she looked at me. Love, or lust, or sadness, or fear, or desperation, or some human mix of all those. Before I could finish my thought, she whispered urgently, “Take me home. Take me back to your home…now.”
I was taken aback and didn’t quite know what to say, so I froze. Gina pulled back a little to look at my confused expression. Then she lifted her lips to mine and kissed me urgently for a few seconds. “Now, Gareth, let’s go now!” Shaking my head clear, I put my hand on her lower back and guided us back to the exit. Terrence was standing down the hall, at work on his phone. Seeing us come out, he smiled and asked if we would like to return to our table. Gina quickly said, “No thank you, we’ll be leaving now.”
Terrence gave me a knowing smile and led us out to the valet station. Seeing him with us made the young workers snap to attention. My car was quickly brought to us, and I turned to Terrence. “I haven’t paid for dinner yet…”
“On me. Happy Valentine’s Day. Besides, I’m looking to make another big purchase soon, and I’ll count your expert advise as payment enough.”
“That would be my pleasure,” I assured him. “And thank you for everything, Terry. It’s been a magical evening.”
As Gina was sitting down in the car, Terrence leaned close to me and said, “I’m betting it’s about to get a lot more magical.” Then he patted my back and waved good-bye.
I drove as fast as I dared. Gina was silent, looking out the window at the stars and bouncing her leg up and down. Her fidgeting seemed so out of place with the way she was dressed, but I knew it was just the real Gina showing through the formal veneer. It took 20 long minutes to get to my place, and before I could get around to opening Gina’s door for her, she was out and at the back of the car.
“Pop the trunk,” she ordered, almost bouncing from impatience.
I did as she had said, and she reached into the trunk of my car and pulled out a small red duffel bag before slamming the trunk shut. I said, “OK, I give up. What on earth is in there?”
She looked at me like I was dense. “It’s an overnight bag. You don’t expect me to wear this dress in the morning, do you?”
As we walked up to my door I paused to take in the implications of that answer- not that there had been much doubt about what was going to happen that night, but that she was going to spend the whole night…
Gina shoved my arm lightly and said, “Hurry up!”
I fumbled to find my house key and said with some confusion, “You didn’t have that with you when I picked you up, did you?”
She giggled and said, “I put it in there last week, to be ready.”
Opening the door, I said with şirinevler escort amazement, “Last wee-“
I was cut off by Gina shoving me into the house, spinning me around, and pushing my back against the door until it slammed shut. She advanced on me until we were kissing furiously. She paused to take off her shoes, then with one quick peck on the lips, she ran towards the stairs. “Meet me in your room!” she yelled back to me.
I locked the door, then wasted no time in following Gina. She was in the bathroom when I got to the room, so I sat on the edge of the bed, taking off my shoes and loosening my tie. I was hit with an unexpected wave of guilt. This was the first time Gina had been in my bedroom- the bedroom I had shared with Lynn, who was still technically (though no longer practically) my wife.
As I pulled off my tie and let my hand fall into my lap, my stomach knotted up- what was I doing? Everything in that room screamed Lynn to me- she had decorated it, some of her personal effects were still there, her clothes in the closet, our pictures on the wall. In the living room was another matter, but in the bedroom? I suddenly felt like I was in a temple, a sacred place of my marriage, and that sanctity would be profaned by the presence of another. I was conflicted- wanting so badly to unite my body with Gina’s, to express the deepening love I felt for her. She was the right person, this was the right time, but was this the right place?
The flush of the toilet and Gina’s entrance into the room disrupted my train of thought. She was still in her gown, but her hair was down. She looked elegant and sexy, and much of that was the hungry look she was giving me. I stood up and looked at her, no longer thinking about how wrong this felt, though I could sense that the guilt still lingered in my subconscious. For now, however, the lust and love that radiated between us were becoming the dominant feelings.
Gina stepped quickly towards me, stopping right in front of me. Breathing quickly, we both lifted our hands towards each other, then held them suspended in mid-air, both unsure what to do. I finally reached out and took her hands in mine, and we dropped them to our sides. Hand in hand on both sides, we touched foreheads.
“Gina,” I said in a voice strained with longing and fear, “I wanted to say something when we were in the ballroom tonight.” She leaned into me, eyes closed. “I…I’m quite attached to you…I mean to say…I’m growing to love you…I love you. And it’s scary because I don’t know what that means yet or if this can work or if we even want it to work in the same way…but…well, there it is.” I winced inwardly at the awkwardness of it. I was never good at talking about these things.
For a long moment, Gina didn’t say anything. She just stood there, our bodies touching. I felt the need to continue talking. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to do something you don’t want to do. I know you said…or implied…something about tonight, but we don’t have to do anything you don’t really want to do.” Listening to myself, I started to realize that my pattern of behavior with Lynn was repeating itself with Gina. I feared that she didn’t really want me and that she felt obligated to be there. I didn’t believe she really could want me.
Her head popped up and she looked into my eyes. Letting go of my hands, she put them both on my cheeks and held my gaze. “How can you think for even a moment that I don’t want this? That I don’t want you? After this past month, how could you think that?” She stepped forward, causing me to step back until my legs bumped against the bed. Her lips just at the tip of mine, she said, “I spent the first part of the night trying not to think about this, trying to keep myself from telling you to skip dinner and take me here. Then I spent the rest of the night rubbing my legs together, unable to stop thinking about this. You’re not talking me out of having sex with you tonight, Gareth. In fact, I don’t think you could stop me if you tried.”
Then she kissed me gently and slowly, making my heart race. Moving her hands down to my waistband, she tugged at my shirt until it was fully untucked. I started undoing the buttons, then grabbed her waist. She pulled my shirt down off my shoulders, and I slipped my arms out. Then she lifted my white undershirt with one smooth motion and pulled it over my head.
Her hands now on my chest, she pushed me and stepped forward, forcing me to sit on the bed.
Moving closer to me, she said, “Reach around an unzip me.”
I quickly found the zipper and pulled it carefully all the way down to the top of her curved ass. Gina stepped back and slowly pulled the dress off of her shoulders. She extended her hands towards me, and I took hold of her sleeves. She pulled her arms out of the sleeves, and I let go. The whole dress dropped to the floor.
I closed my eyes for a second, just to make sure I was in reality. I opened them again, and sure enough, she was still there. Gina was reaching behind herself and unclasping her lacy black bra, which then joined her dress on the floor. She wore no panties. When she saw that I was staring at her exposed pussy and her neatly trimmed mound, she answered the question I didn’t ask. “I took them off in the bathroom- I’m not that kinky…usually.”
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