Barely Paralegal Ch. 01
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Chapter 01 – No Experience Required
This is a story about a summer internship I had working as a paralegal immediately after graduating high school. I was initially very excited about this job, as I thought it was going to be both a great learning experience and an opportunity to earn some actual money. And while it did end up being both of those things, in the end it was so much more, and so much more complicated. I never could’ve known how much of a sexual aspect this job would entail, and while I’m still not fully sure if any crimes were committed, either by me or against me, I do know that this job severely warped my development, both sexually, and as a person in general. So here’s what happened…
Both my mom and dad are lawyers. And while my mom is no longer practicing, my dad is as committed to his work as he’s ever been. As the older of two boys in my family, my father was pretty excited for me to finally start my college education, and more importantly to him, a potential legal career after that. To help facilitate this, as my senior year of high school was wrapping up, he decided to reach out to some of his lawyer friends to see if anyone would be interested in hiring a hardworking, but completely clueless and inexperienced kid like myself, to do some very remedial paralegal work for the summer. I honestly didn’t have much of a choice, but I was fine with his plan.
To my surprise, he actually managed to hook me up with an internship with one of his law school classmates named Mark Dwyer. I’ve known Mark for years as he lives close by to us and has been over to our house a number of times for BBQs and other informal gatherings. Like my dad, he’s in his early 50s, but he’s always come across as more goofy and easy going than either of my parents have ever been. My parents have always struggled to find the humor in anything, so it’s kind of surprising they’re even friends with someone like Mark.
But anyway, Mark is quick to make jokes, even at his own expense, and he also seems to have a great relationship with his wife, Linda. He often will make suggestive, but playful, comments about how attractive Linda is, but never in a creepy cheats-on-his-wife-smooth-talking-businessman kind of way, but rather more of sincere he-just-still-finds-his-wife-really-beautiful kind of way. Ironically, Linda has always seemed totally ordinary to me in terms of looks. It’s not that she’s particularly unattractive or anything, just that she looks similar to any other 40 or 50-year-old woman, which suffice to say isn’t my target market when it comes to girls, so what do I know. But regardless, it was always refreshing to see the Dwyers be flirty like this, because my own parents have basically never showed any kind of physical affection towards each other, like ever.
But anyway, in terms of the internship, once Mark heard that I was looking for a summer job and that I was also going to be attending Wash U. in the fall, which happens to be his undergraduate alma mater, he was all-in for hiring me. Normally, paralegals have at least some college experience, if not more. But coming out of high school, I was already a pretty decent writer, and Mark was confident that there would be a number of ways I could help assist him in his patent attorney work, even if I had zero actual experience. So right before graduation, I went over to his home/office and he gave me a formal job interview. He kept it all very laid back though, and by the end of the hour-long chat, he said he’d be glad to bring me on for 8-hour days, 5 days a week at $15 an hour. I was pumped.
As luck would have it, my 18th birthday was the same day as my high school graduation, so it was a festive day to say the least. After that, I had roughly two weeks to hang out with my friends before starting this job the last week of June. After I calculated just how much I would be making ($120 a day!) I actually couldn’t wait to start the internship. I knew working forty hours a week was going to be a lot, but I figured as long as it wasn’t totally and completely monotonous, it would be worth it.
My first week working went great. Mark’s home office is setup in the basement of his house, but it’s a really nice, finished basement. In fact their whole house is quite fancy. I had my own desk with a laptop and a full working environment. And best of all, the work itself wasn’t too bad. Mark started me off by giving me a bunch of patents he was working on to proofread. He mentioned that by the end of the summer I would be working on writing up some documents of my own, but until then the best learning experience for me would be to read as much as I could. He said I’d also be able to help him research existing patents related to ones he’s working on, and that he’d be giving me a tutorial on that in the next week or two.
I’m sure reading patents all day long doesn’t sound exciting, but Mark and I spent a lot of time just chatting, which was really cool. We talked a lot about what college, and specifically bahçelievler escort Wash U., was going to be like. The refreshing thing about chatting with Mark is that he always seemed to present things as trade-offs. For example, we talked about whether I was going to pledge a fraternity, and he mentioned that while he had joined one when he was there, he wasn’t sure if he would again if he was doing it all over. He talked about how he developed some really good friendships, but also how there were some aspects, for example the emphasis on binge drinking, that he wasn’t big on. He also warned me that it can be very limiting, as a significant amount of your social life will be locked into your frat events. Either way, it was nice chatting with someone who treated me as someone who could decide things for myself.
My dad has never really treated me like that. I actually don’t even know what his stance on fraternities is, but I guarantee you it’s one of two view points. Either it’s: you HAVE to join a frat because it’ll be the best part of your college experience. Or if it’s not that, I’m sure it’s: you should NEVER join a frat because it’s a giant waste of money that’ll get in the way of your classes. Everything is so goddamn black and white with him, it can be infuriating.
Not only was it fun getting to chat with someone like Mark everyday, but his wife Linda was so extremely nice too. Multiple times throughout the day she’d come downstairs to see how we were doing. She’d constantly bring me a refill on my water glass and even brought some light snacks down from time to time. The two of them didn’t have any children, so I’m guessing she actually enjoyed having the company around the house. Sometimes she’d stay and join in our chats though, and it was clear she had plenty of funny stories and anecdotes to contribute to whatever the topic at hand was as well.
We were discussing drinking in high school and college, and Linda mentioned that she didn’t really drink at all in high school, but as soon as she arrived for her freshman year in college, she didn’t hold back at all. She told a story about one night during the first month of school when she was so wasted after a party, that she had to stumble her way back to her dorm room and couldn’t do anything except crawl into bed, get under the covers and pass out. The problem was, while she was in the right room, and the right bed, she was on the wrong floor of her dorm. This room just happened to be unlocked and have a similar layout, so she fell asleep in the bed of some random girl on a different floor. She was laughing the whole time retelling this story, and as it turns out the girl she had never previously met was surprisingly cool coming home to a stranger sleeping in her bed. In fact, they even ended up becoming friends. But just hearing this middle-aged woman tell this story was kind of mind blowing, because never in a million years would my mom ever tell a story like that. Chances are she never did anything like that in the first place, but even if she had, I’m sure she’d be so mortified to relive the tale today, she certainly wouldn’t be laughing about it. Yet again, it just reinforced both how different the Dwyers were from my own parents, but also how it was legitimately kind of fun hanging out and chatting with them.
It was the middle of my second week of work, and I think Linda was out running some errands or something, so it was just the two of us down in the basement. Mark and I were getting a fair amount of work done, but still shooting the shit like usual. But this afternoon, Mark decided to bring up a subject we hadn’t discussed before.
“So did you date a lot in high school?” he asks me.
First off, it’s weird hearing him refer to my high school experience in the past tense, but I guess that’s because the fact that I graduated still hasn’t sunk in yet.
“No, not really.” I answer him pretty generically, when really the most accurate answer would’ve been “not at all”.
“So are you a virgin?” Mark follows up with, clearly escalating this conversation rather quickly. To be honest, even in just the week plus of working for him, he’s had such a comfortable and honest way of chatting, that this extremely personal question doesn’t seem weird or even unexpected.
“Yeah, I am.” I answer. And then I figure I might as well save us both from the subsequent follow up questions, so I add, “I haven’t even kissed anyone yet.”
After saying this, I’m thinking holy shit, that’s not even something I’m comfortable saying out loud to my closest friends, even though they probably could guess at my total inexperience when it comes to girls. But here I am just admitting it to my dad’s friend, who’s also my boss? How weird is that.
“Don’t sweat that at all.” Mark says reassuringly. “Hell, I didn’t even have my first kiss until I was 19. Sophomore year of college. In fact I must’ve been almost 20 by then too, so I hope that’s bahçelievler escort bayan not something you ever stress about, because you shouldn’t.”
To be honest, it WAS something I’m embarrassed about. I’m extremely curious about sex, as I’m sure most 18-year-old guys are. I definitely have watched my fair share of internet porn, and I want so badly to try all the different things I’ve seen in those videos, but at the same time I also know that eventually my time will come. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, to prevent me from getting too down about it. But suffice to say, it’s hard to imagine any 18-year-old, sexually active or not, who thinks about sex and the female anatomy more than I do.
Mark then looks at me and says, “I’m actually surprised. You’re not a bad looking kid. And I can tell you’re in great shape, that’s from running right? Aren’t you on the track team?”
“Yeah.” I answer. “Well, cross country actually. But close enough.”
It was certainly nice of Mark to feign surprise that I’m not currently attracting any attention from my female classmates, but I think he was being overly generous. While I technically am in good shape, I think the most appropriate term to describe my body would scrawny. Or maybe lanky. I’m 6’2″ and weigh 150 lbs, so you can do the math. I’ve always been self-conscious about being so skinny, and it even got to the point where I tried a daily protein shake regimen. But that didn’t work, as it just seems like no matter how much I eat or drink, I can’t ever build any muscle beyond my current frame.
Other than my skinny body, I guess I’m a decent looking guy. I keep my hair pretty short, and I try to dress nicely. But for whatever reason, I’ve never heard of or known of a single girl being interested in me. Just once, even if it was someone I wasn’t attracted to in the least, I’d love to hear that someone else had a crush on ME. It’d be such a cool feeling and confidence booster that maybe it would be the perfect catalyst to break the ice and lead me towards actually having a dating life.
But anyway, back to Mark and asking me about my sexual history. It was nice to hear that he too was a late bloomer and that it wasn’t THAT unusual for someone to reach their late teen years without so much as a kiss. Mark himself seemed like he was pretty well put together. He looked like he worked out a decent amount, even though he had kind of a large pot belly. In fact, he weirdly looked like he was both in shape and slightly overweight, all at the same time, if that makes any sense. He was completely bald, but had a well trimmed goatee. Overall, he and Linda seemed like a good match appearance wise, and they made a nice couple.
After giving me those initial complements about my own appearance, Mark then looks at me for a few seconds while appearing to contemplate what to say next. Then he finally says, “Let me give you two pieces of dating advice.”
I’m really interested in what he’s going to say here, as even in the short amount of time we’ve hung out, I’ve already built up quite a level of respect for him and his take on life.
“First off, don’t ever date someone because you think it’s who you’re supposed to date. Date the person that deep down you WANT to be with, no matter who that is.” Mark says this, but I don’t really get what he’s getting at. And then he continues, “The classic example is Prince Charles. Everyone else wanted him to be with Princess Di, but deep down he always loved that Camilla Parker Bowles lady. So what did he do? He married Diana. And they were both miserable.”
Now I’m completely lost. I’ve heard of Princess Di before, but all I really know about her is that she died young. And I know Prince Charles is Prince William and Harry’s father, but that’s about as far as my royal family knowledge goes. I guess I get the gist of what he’s trying to say though, in that you shouldn’t care what other people think of who you want to be with. I certainly wouldn’t argue with that idea, so I casually respond by nodding my head and saying, “That makes sense.”
And then Mark continues on, “And secondly… you should find someone who you can bare your entire soul to. And what I mean by that is, someone who you never have to filter who you are. Someone who you can truly be authentic with.”
That idea also makes sense, but it kind of seems similar to the first. Basically, I get the impression that he was telling me not to settle and to find my soul mate. I was kind of expecting something more specific when he prefaced his two main pieces of dating advice, but what do I know?
But Mark wasn’t done on this second topic of being able to bare his soul. In fact, this is the point where he takes the conversation into a pretty eye-opening new direction. Mark tells me, “Let me give you an example of what I mean about having no filter with the Misses. It was probably around 10 years ago… I was either in my late escort bahçelievler 30s or maybe early 40s, but regardless it was awhile ago. But we also had been married for awhile at this point.” Mark then noticeably pauses and takes a breath before continuing, “Linda was a little drunk one night, and we’re lying in bed, and she asks me… what’s my biggest fantasy? She says this totally out of the blue with no context.”
Ok, this is pretty interesting I’m thinking. He certainly has my full attention now.
Mark then continues, “Now we’ve always had a pretty decent sex life, and could talk about sex, but this question was still unusual for her to ask. Now, as decent as our communication was, there were still any number of things that I wasn’t quite comfortable sharing with Linda, even though she was my wife!”
Mark is clearly passionate in telling this story as he gets quite animated here. He goes on, “So I’m thinking, what’s the point of hiding who I am? There’s a specific fantasy that I have in mind, that’s grown and grown in my head over the years, but I’ve never admitted it out loud to anyone, not even Linda. But for whatever reason, on that night I find myself thinking… this is so stupid for me to hide anything from her. She’s my best friend and she’s not going anywhere, so I decide right then and there… fuck it, I’m gonna tell her. So I do. And I admit to her that more than any other fantasy, I would absolutely love to fuck a teenage girl.”
When he says this, there’s no doubt I make some sort of a weird facial reaction. Because holy shit, how could I not? But as soon as he sees my reaction, Mark puts his hand out and says, “Ok, hold on. Let me clarify.”
He then continues on to explain, “You could have two girls in front of me, one is 18 years old and the other is 17. They both may be equally alluring, but while lusting after the first one may make me a dirty old man, lusting after the second one will make me an inmate… like in prison… if you get my drift. So just to be clear, when I use the word ‘teenager’ I’m not talking about anyone underage here, I’m talking about a young, but LEGAL 18-year-old girl. Like your age.”
As he says this he kind of catches himself and says, “Wait, you are 18, right? I thought I remember that from when we first chatted about this job.”
“Yeah. I’m 18 now.” I say and nod, still pretty overwhelmed by the turn this conversation has taken.
He laughs and then says, “Ok good. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be able to be having any of this conversation with you right now.” And then laughs again. I’m equal parts terrified and fascinated about what he’s going to say next. The bottom line is I can’t believe he just admitted any of this to me. I’m utterly amazed at his honesty, and while like he said, he’s not suggesting anything illegal, I’ve just never gotten the impression that many middle-aged men are ever comfortable admitting that they openly lust after teenagers. But maybe this is something that is actually relatively common and I’ve just never been exposed to it? But regardless, holy fucking shit is this weird.
Mark’s clearly not done with his story, either. “So I flat out tell her this secret that I’ve had for years, and still have to this day, and I don’t hold back. I spew all sorts of perverted details like how I’d want this teenager to be a virgin, and how I’d want her to be this sweet adorable little thing with small titties and a tight shaved pussy. And the whole time I’m telling all of this to Linda, I’m thinking I have no idea what she’s going to say in response. Absolutely none. But you know what? It felt so good just to be honest and to bare my soul, as I like to say, that I wasn’t going to regret telling her no matter what Linda thought of me afterwards.” Mark then pauses, looks right at me and asks, “So what do you think she said?”
I have absolutely no idea, and so I just kind of look back at Mark while shaking my head and not saying anything.
“She told me it was the fucking hottest thing she’d ever heard!” Mark says with great excitement as he simultaneously claps his hands. “She was so excited that I actually admitted something so personal and so taboo. The other thing Linda did is she immediately pointed out that I probably was having these fantasies because I never fucked anyone while I was in high school. And she was right. I think the youngest person I ever had sex with was maybe 24? So here I was a 40-year-old man trying to make up for my underwhelming high school years by fantasizing about 18-year-old girls. But the best part of all, is how after this single confession, the two of us became so much closer. It was as if all those years of keeping part of me from her had limited how close we could ever become, and now that that filter was gone, our relationship went to a whole new level. Our sex life became so much hotter, but the non-sexual side of our relationship became better as well. It was so goddamn freeing and enlightening, it was the turning point in our marriage.”
After he finishes the story, I can’t help but look over at the stairs wondering when Linda will next come down next. Part of me is worried she might be able to hear this whole conversation and be horrified that he’s telling me all of this. But then again, with everything that he’s saying about how understanding she is, maybe she’d be fine with it?
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