Yes, Sir

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Yes, SirRecently my life has taken a drastic turn towards making me happy. I found something within myself that I never thought could exist and I have been relishing it. Every smile that crosses my lips is because of this revelation. Every glint in my eyes, every blush is because I was able to come to terms with myself and what it means to be me. I’m really not an overly complicated person, but I’ve been unhappy for so long. I had forgotten what it felt like to truly and genuinely smile at someone, but now I remember. My marriage was doomed to fail from the start. I married for all of the wrong reasons. I got caught up in the romanticism and sweet words and promises that were made to me. He just could not deliver on those promises. We tried, for ten years we tried. I tried so hard to be the dutiful wife, to be faithful and to just continue being married because it was the right thing to do. I had made a vow after all, I didn’t want to be a failure. No matter how much we tried though it just wasn’t right. It wasn’t the right fit, so we tried to force it. Or, rather, I tried to force it. He was insistent that I was the one, the only person he was meant to be with, his one true love, the only person he wanted to be with. I wanted to believe him. I tried to believe in it too, I tried to see the signs of “meant to be”. I tried to see all of the little ways that we fit together. I tried so hard that I lost myself along the way by trying to force myself into this mold of what he loved. He loved me as I was. I didn’t have to try for anyone, not even myself. I loved that at times. No stress about my image. I didn’t have to pander to the male ideal of beauty. Then I noticed that I stopped looking in mirrors at home. When I would catch my reflection somewhere I could see how tired I had become. I could see the sadness, ever present in my eyes. No matter how much I smiled my eyes held a deep sadness. I began to hate myself, finding faults in every tiny flaw reflected back at me. I saw someone who had given up on happiness. Someone who was broken, a mere shadow of her former self. I should have felt loved and adored and like the queen of my husband’s universe. The only thing reflected in the glass was sorrow, shame and a spirit that had dulled. I think that’s what hurt the most. My spirit felt so neglected. He could tell me he loved me a million times over but it was empty words without follow through. He couldn’t show me he loved me. He wouldn’t sacrifice anything for my happiness, even though I had sacrificed everything for his. I felt like I was the one doing all of the work and he was getting all of the reward. The few things I asked him to do were never a priority so my needs and wants were just left there until he eventually remembered or I begged him to help me.As the years went by I found myself wondering, “Is this all that life is?” I had a job, he had dreams. Beautiful, wonderful dreams that I wanted to fully support. Dreams that I thought could change the world for the better. He was a visionary, saw the world so differently, saw how good and remarkable it could be, even in the most mundane little tasks. He was an inventor, such a creative mind, but so horribly unfocused. He couldn’t deliver. The ideas were there by the thousands, but nothing ever got past being half done.I believed in him, I encouraged him, I stood by him dutifully as I waited for him to do something, anything, beyond just thinking of something new. Every day a new thought had to be written down notebooks full of ideas, full of wonderment and curiosities that were interesting and brave and so full of hope and promise for the future of mankind. How I wish he had just chosen one and followed it through. I would have seen him accomplish something. I could’ve seen the pride in his eyes, the look of fulfillment when he made someone’s life better. That never came about though. Ten years into idea after idea I became disheartened. I cried more than I laughed. I longed to see him do something with his life at that point. I hurt because all I wanted was a family, a life together. I wasn’t permitted that, he wasn’t ready. He felt we should be more prepared before we had a c***d, he wanted to accomplish something first. I didn’t care if he made something of himself, I just wanted to live a life with him. So we waited to start our family. Everything was centered around him and his wants and needs. I choked back my own tears and gave up on what I thought was the only thing that could have brought love into my life. As far as I cared he could’ve been flipping burgers, at least he would have been doing something. I became resentful. I thought about all of the dreams I had, of all of the things I wanted out of life and about how much I had struggled with everything. How unfair it was that I gave him the space to explore himself and his wants and needs and ideas and how much I had neglected myself in the same way. I was crushed into being his obedient wife, providing for us and pretending that I didn’t want to die every time he talked about a new idea.I had ideas and wants as well, I had dreams. I could’ve actually accomplished mine. They were within reach, I had a chance at them. I was a singer. There was a contract offer from a small label to put out a single and then a CD a short while later. I walked away because it would have meant being away from him for 6 months to promote the CD, then a year on tour. I chose him over an actual career doing what I loved. I was 17 and I was blinded by sweet words and promises. I gave up on myself. The regret, the resentment just built up over the years. Every time he started something and didn’t see it through I hated him a little bit more. We fought, though it was never physical. I would have welcomed that. It would have been something at least, some kind of show of passion. We just fought verbally. We never even raised our voices to each other, how dull is that? It got to the point that our arguments consisted of discussions where I held him and comforted him while I told him why I was unhappy. It was probably the most caring arguments in the history of relationships. Looking back on it, it was kind of weird. I was comforting him for his failures as a husband, but I was the one who was upset and feeling like I was barely existing. He was largely happy with our relationship, still sweet talking, still believing that we were good together, that we worked. He didn’t understand why I was upset. Why working full time at a job I hated, then coming home and having bostancı escort to clean the house and cook and listen to the new ideas he came up with was upsetting to me. I don’t think he ever got it. The pressure that was on me, all of the responsibility being on me. I was being crushed under the weight of it and he would run over like a little boy with a drawing he colored for me, show it to me then run away to do another while I was slowly succumbing to the weight on top of me. He was oblivious to my needs no matter how many times I would blatantly tell him.Eventually I succumbed to my own self pity and began an affair. He didn’t deserve that, not by a long shot. He was kind, sweet, there was an innocence about him. I regret cheating on him now. That innocence was destroyed because of my actions. I wish I had gone about things differently but it just happened. He knew I was miserable, he had known for a long time, so I don’t know if it was much of a shock to him or not. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I went out with friends after work. I told him about it beforehand, he didn’t want me to go, he never wanted me to go. This time I went anyways, I couldn’t face him that day. I just couldn’t go home to that hurt again. Every time I thought about going home to another one of his ideas while I catered to him killed another little piece of me. My marriage would be over anyways, my life as well. Just the thought of seeing him that night made me wish someone would put a gun to my head and end it for me so I didn’t have to. My co-workers and I went to a restaurant, had a meal, talked, socialized and drank, oh did we drink. That was something I wasn’t permitted at home. I couldn’t even buy wine to cook with without seeing my husband look at me so disapprovingly. I wanted to numb the pain, numb my life and I went shot for shot with my coworkers. By the end of the night we were all plastered. None of us were going to be driving home in that condition, so we went to a nearby park and stumbled around and talked for the most part. Thankfully we weren’t being rowdy or I’m sure we’d have gotten a fine for public intoxication. Tricia, one of my co-workers, noticed I had quietly started crying after I pulled out my phone. My husband had called to check on me, I let it go to voice mail. I confided in her that I wanted to divorce him but he had no where to go, no one to take care of him. He depended on me to live and I felt so trapped by it. I don’t think she understood that I couldn’t just leave him without knowing he would be okay on his own. He wasn’t a bad person. I heard one of our co-workers approaching and I wiped my tears. He tagged Tricia on the shoulder and yelled a quick “Tag, you’re it!” and took off running in the opposite direction. She laughed and took off after him. I stood there for a moment longer to compose myself. I’m not sure how the game got started but I suddenly found myself thrust into a game of tag. Yes, a group of 27+ year olds were running around yelling, “Tag! You’re it.” Did I mention we had been drinking heavily? I hadn’t even noticed that Warren was repeatedly tagging me, or that he was letting his hand linger a bit longer than it needed to. I did notice that he had a flask in his hand and was taking quick swigs every now and then. I sneaked over and snatched his flask and took a swig, running off with it before being nearly tackled by an over zealous coworker.I quickly tagged the owner of the stolen flask and smiled at him, I slid my hand down his arm, not realizing what he was thinking. I turned to run away from him, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me tightly against him and kissed me, so very softly, on the lips. He pulled back momentarily then kissed me again, passion taking over, guiding his lips with mine, forcing his tongue to find mine and becoming so entangled with me that I thought we’d never part. My knees were so weak that his hands on my lower back and on the back of my head were the only things holding me up. I had never felt that before, that raw burning passion in a kiss. Our coworkers didn’t see it. It sobered me up rather quickly. When he let go I slid down to the ground and placed my fingers on my lips. He took his flask back and he ran off after another coworker, smiling back at the effect his kiss had on me. After a few seconds I was able to stand once again and joined back in the game, stealing his flask twice more. With the alcohol effects wearing off most of my co-workers, we parted ways. I sat in my car, still a little too inebriated to start driving. My keys lay in the cup holder next to me and I thought about his kiss. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to it. I fantasized about it. I slid my hand along my thigh, just under my skirt, a smile on my lips. I had music playing, Where Did You Sleep Last Night by Nirvana, I believe it was. I very lightly caressed myself. I carefully slipped my fingers into the waist of my panties and pulled them off. I tossed them on the passenger seat and smiled, my eyes never opening. I was excited. I felt attractive for the first time in years. I felt a rush of adrenaline as I thought about what I wanted to do. I realized there were probably cameras in the parking lot, but in all honesty, I didn’t care. I sat there, sliding my fingers against my flesh, dipping them into the naturally lubricating fluids between my legs and swirling the moistened fingers around my clit. I was so lost in my own thoughts and the music that I never heard the passenger side door open and I never heard it gently close. Warren sat there, watching me as I pulled my skirt up and played with myself, I felt completely uninhibited. I quickly unbuttoned a few of the buttons on my shirt, exposing my bra. I ran my hand over my neck and down along my chest. He watched me expose my flesh. He only watched. I shifted in my seat, my skirt sliding farther up, exposing me just a bit, showing him exactly what I was doing to myself. I was so close to release, my cheeks flushed red, I pulled my bra down a bit, caressing my own breast, gently sliding my fingers over my hardened nipple and then back up along my neck and cheek. For the first time in a long time I was truly in the throws of passion. My soul felt alive and it wanted my body to experience the excitement of life and raw a****l pleasure.I felt a wave of release coming over me and I cried out, whimpering as I tensed up and released the passion that I had coaxed out of myself. I never opened my eyes, I just sat fatih escort there, smiling and breathing heavily. I removed my fingers from myself and ran the moistness over my lips. I liked how I tasted, it excited me. I licked my fingers, a light coating still glistening over my lips. He leaned over and kissed me, licking my lips clean as he did so. I opened my eyes and screamed and hit him. I pushed him away as I fumbled for the door handle. He smiled, a coy yet powerful smile. He grabbed my thighs as I nearly fell out of the car and pulled me back into my seat. I hit him in the arm and told him to let go. He pulled my door closed and just looked at me as he sat back in the passenger seat. I hit him again and told him to get out. He grabbed my wrists and tried to calm me, I was upset and he knew it. I squirmed and struggled to get free but he just tightened his grip.”How long have you been there?” I asked, settling into defeat and just wanting to cry out of embarrassment.”I came over to talk to you, saw you take your panties off and just watched, I was going to say something but you were smiling. I haven’t seen you smile like that before. I climbed in the car not long after. Did you know your interior light isn’t working?”I blushed, embarrassed that he had seen me like that. His hands were still tightly around my wrists, they were hurting me. I winced a bit and he took notice. He let my wrists go, a light bruise began to form around them. He looked a little embarrassed, but I was actually enjoying his grip on me. He looked down at me and I realized I was still very much exposed. I quickly pulled my bra back up and pulled my skirt down. He seemed a little disappointed. He ran the backs of his fingers over my cheek, lightly, barely touching me, I melted a little. I wasn’t angry anymore, I slid my wedding band around my finger. I was going to betray everything I believed in and I knew it at this point. I pulled my wedding band off and dropped it in the cup holder with my keys, he smiled at me. “I heard what you told Trish. You deserve to be taken care of as well. You deserve to be happy.”I felt guilty instantly and went to retrieve my wedding band. He stopped me and lifted my chin towards him. He could see the tears welling up in my eyes as his lips connected with mine once more. My fingers trembled, my lip trembled and he kissed me again. I heard him rummaging around my keys, he retrieved my wedding band and slowly pulled out of the kiss.I panicked, “Give it back!”“Why are you so afraid to leave him?”“He doesn’t have anyone else.”He leaned over and kissed me, I greedily kissed back. He pulled away and I started to follow him, his hand cradled my face. I caught myself smiling as he ran his thumb over my lips. “I don’t ever want to see that smile go away again. I’ll never understand how he could let it go away.”He slid my wedding ring into his pocket and I started to go after it. He stopped me and maneuvered so he could whisper in my ear. His lips grazed my earlobe, his breath sent shivers down my spine as it gently caressed my ear. “I take, with this ring, every burden you bear. I absolve you of any guilt that beautiful smile brings you. I release you from the confines that his vows have placed upon you. I accept any pain born of your happiness.” He pulled me into a tight embrace and let me cry for what seemed like hours. I looked down at the floor, this intense feeling of innocence and purity washed over me as he held me, my tears beginning to dry on my face. In spite of what I believed in, I felt as though he really had taken such heavy burdens off of my shoulders. I felt renewed, refreshed, like I had another chance to be myself. I felt awakened.I looked up at him and he seemed to be taken aback a bit at the sudden change of heart. I climbed out of the driver’s seat and over to his seat. I sat on his lap, my legs d****d over his and I lay my head back against his shoulder. He cradled me, running his fingertips over my cheek. He kissed my forehead. I was in a completely different mindset here. I had no idea what was happening but I felt like a 5 year old in her dad’s arms, safe, protected, adored, but there was more than that. There was also this primal sexual attraction. This intense desire and want that the innocence and protection provided. Everything came naturally to both of us, he knew just what to do, just what I wanted. I didn’t have to say a word. He held me there for over an hour. I silenced my phone by the fourth call from my husband. This man was innocently loving me, stroking my hair, caressing my face, there was something more than lust there and it was striking that it wasn’t forced at all. I looked up at him and bit my lip, shyly looking into his eyes. I spread my legs apart just a bit. He smiled and lifted my chin, kissing me so softly as he slid his hand over my thighs, gently kneading and caressing his way up them. He stopped just shy of my pussy, letting the heat from his hand be the only thing I could feel. I whined at him, pouted, the ache in me apparent.”Are you sure, little one?” He mocked me, his voice stern and fatherly but seductive at the same time.”Please?” My voice was barely audible. It was tiny and downright pitiful. A pleading look in my eyes as I focused on him.He rubbed his thumb over the lips of my pussy, just along the surface but all the way down me. He smiled at me, my eyes were closed and I squirmed in his arms, my butt slid against his lap. My cheeks blushed, I felt like I was on fire and he’d barely even touched me. He grabbed my hair roughly, pulled it tightly, jerking my head back and to the side, exposing my neck to him in a rather violent way. He could see the blood pulsing through the veins, he could see every gasping breath I took. I looked at him and he looked at my neck as if he wanted to devour me that instant. His look was intense, full of passion and desire, he kissed me tenderly, his lips just grazed my flesh and he worked his way up my neck to my jaw and then over to my lips as he quickly plunged two fingers into my aching pussy. I cried out.My back arched as his fingers roughly pushed at me, loosening me, pulling at me as he forced them in and out of me. His lips were locked on mine, muffling my cries of pain, though the tears flowed freely. The hurt was intense, a mostly dry fingering sending pangs of pleasure and pain through me. He stopped and pulled his fingers from me. He licked the tears from my cheek and I just looked at him. Fear and want mixed in my bağcılar escort eyes as I stared. “You weren’t ready yet, you should have been dripping with anticipation, lovely one,” His voice was drenched in disappointment, I felt shameful that I wasn’t, that being in his arms hadn’t pleased me enough to be wet and ready for him. His words controlled me in a way I had never felt before.He opened the car door and slid out from under me then he grabbed my hand and helped me out, gentlemanly right up until he pushed me up against the car. His body pushed tightly against mine as he lowered his lips to my ear. He harshly whispered to me, “I’m going to fuck you raw tonight and you’re not going to do anything but say “yes, sir” and let your juices flow heavily over my cock. I will fill your pussy and you will come to me, begging me for more, you will be my slave, you will do as I say and I will never, ever bring harm to you. I will hurt you, I will punish you, have no doubt in that, but I will never harm you. Soon, you will cum at the sight of me removing my belt. You will behave, little one, and I will show you how to be the best girl you can possibly be. Now what do you say?”I was overwhelmed at the words. I felt like my world was spinning out of control and I just whimpered a soft, lusty, “Yes, sir.”He took my hand and led me into the park. My shirt was still unbuttoned, my skirt still hiked up a bit. I walked unsteadily, a bit sore from the rough fingering in the car. He led me through a wooded area and pressed me up against a tree with a forceful and passionate kiss. I whimpered, he pulled away and slapped me hard across the face. It stung and I cried out, tears in my eyes as I looked up at him. My knees bent together as I slid down against the tree. He looked at me sternly, “Don’t speak, little one, don’t moan, don’t make a sound or you won’t have a choice in anything I do. Understand?”I nodded, still holding my hand over where he had slapped me. He gently and lovingly pulled my hand away and softly kissed the handprint he’d left. He kissed my tears and ran the back of his hand over my lips. I closed my eyes and he slid down in front of me. He pulled my skirt up and lifted my left leg, putting it over his shoulder. He smiled and I gripped the bark of the tree as best I could. I lay my head to the side. He pressed his lips to me and began kissing gently between my legs. I ached for him, he could do anything he wanted with me and he knew it. His licks were soft, gentle, loving, I got wetter and wetter, he lapped me up and made me give him more. I bit my lip, trying not to cry out, trying not to moan. I tried so hard to stand still, to not let my knees fail me. He seemed satisfied with my efforts and climbed his way back up me, keeping my leg on his shoulder, stretching it as he stood and letting it slide from my thigh to just my ankle resting on him. It ached. He kissed my lips passionately, I tasted myself along with his mouth and I was in heaven.As he pushed himself into me, my eyes opened with a start. His hands slid down to my behind and lifted me off of the ground slightly. He stared at me, his eyes did not blink at all. He didn’t take his eyes off of mine for a second. The heat and passion burned through me. I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed, he saw this and licked at the blood. He kissed me hard. He fucked me harder. It hurt and felt oh so fucking good. He brought his lips to my ear and whispered, sternly, lovingly, “Scream for me, beautiful.” I obliged, happily, releasing all of the pent up passion he had made me suppress. I cried out in a pained gasp, I moaned. I writhed on his dick and tightened around him, milking him, letting go of who I had become and accepting who I wanted to be. He grabbed me and pulled me off of him. He turned me around to face away from him. He shoved his cock into my pussy again, he began to live up to his promise to fuck me raw. His strokes were hard and rough. He was hitting every part of me internally, hurting me in such good ways. I felt his breath on the back of my neck as he spit his orders at me, “Fuck me back, little one, tighten your cunt around me, beg me to leave my seed in you, to treat you like the kind of whore who can handle a man like me.” He pulled my shirt, tugging it off of my shoulder. A few of the buttons were ripped off in the excitement. He unfastened my bra, hurriedly tearing it off of me. My breasts sc****d on the rough bark of the tree with each thrust into me. I could feel them bleeding and I didn’t care. He pulled my hair and buried his cock into me in one deep forceful thrust, releasing his seed deep within. I could feel his dick throbbing inside of me, pulsing as he pushed me forcefully against the bark of the tree. He lowered his lips to my neck and sucked on it gently. Then he kissed it so softly, his lips tenderly moved up along my neck until I could feel them brushing over my earlobe as he whispered, “You didn’t cum for me, little one,” a deep sadness dripped from each word.He slid his cock out of me, gently. I slid down against the tree, hurting, pulsing, craving so much more. I heard him unfasten his belt, I didn’t look at him, I didn’t move. Then I felt the first sting of it. He hit me hard, I could feel the welt forming on my behind and I cried out, screamed really. He grabbed me roughly away from the tree and shoved me down on my hands and knees, into the leaves on the ground. It was cold and slightly damp. “Will you enjoy for me next time?” The belt whipped across my behind.”Yes, sir,” my voice was a pained scream as the belt made contact again. He hit me again, I put my hand behind me to block for the first time and it seemed to excite him all over again. He grabbed my wrist and looped the belt around it, then grabbed my other wrist and tied them together with his belt. He turned me over and looked at me. His hand was gentle as it pushed my hair out of my face.”You know you can stop me anytime you want to, right? Just tell me you want to go home,” He stepped back into himself, the him I’ve known and worked with for years. He seemed concerned, my face was dirty, my hair was mussed, tears stained my cheeks, blood dried on my lip and breasts and bruises formed along my body. His hand print from slapping me was just starting to fade and the sting of his belt on my ass lingered. He looked as though he was questioning whether or not he went to far.I looked at him, connected with his eyes and held his gaze in mine, “Yes, sir,” a whisper, a taunt. He smiled and let his hand slide into my hair lifting my head to him for another passionate kiss, his fingers slid down my body until they found the freshly dripping cavern between my legs and began to spread the moisture over my most sensitive areas. I knew at that moment, my life was never going to be the same.

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