Forgive Him

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I really did it this time. Normally, she’d come up with some little way to punish me when I screwed up, and then get angry when I don’t notice my punishment. Confrontation wasn’t our thing, but she was waiting for me when I got home. “What have you got to say for yourself?” she had demanded. “About what?” I dodged. “Stop it! I’m not an idiot. Stop treating me like I’m an idiot!” She slung her purse over her shoulder. Her keys were already in her hand. “Fine. Then stop acting like an idiot. Since you say you know everything, I don’t need to say anything. I’m not going to defend myself.” She practically stomped up to me. Fists at her sides, she visibly shook as she looked up at my face. She was almost inaudible when she cursed at me: “Fuck you.” She turned toward the door, huffed, and marched out. That was new. I sighed and yelled after her. “Wait-wait-wait, let’s work this out!” I didn’t hear anything that suggested she was returning. I called again from the threshold as she got in her car. “C’mon!” I tried, “Just tell me what you want.” Nothing. She drove off. I left the door open and sat facing the TV. I turned it on and back off again. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I never thought she’d walk out on me. I wanted a drink and decided against it. I stared at the open door too many times, so I closed it. It’s still hard to admit that I was bahis siteleri scared that she wasn’t coming back. I checked my phone every now and then, wondering when I should call to be sure she’s okay. —————–  I stood up when I heard her footsteps outside. She came in and brushed past me. “Don’t get excited. I don’t have anywhere else to stay tonight.” I snagged her arm before she got far. “Give us a hug. See, there’s really nothing to be upset about.” She wrested her arm from my grasp and pummeled my chest with her little fists, annoyed at the futility. I shouldn’t have laughed. “Baby, give it up.” I turned myself around, smiling. “Maybe you’d like to spank me.” “Fucking bastard,” she said through her teeth. “If your mama had spanked you, maybe you wouldn’t have grown up to be such a fucking asshole!” She marched into our bedroom and emerged a few seconds later. She was holding my pillow up with two fingers, and her other hand was resting on her hip. She held the pose until she was sure I was looking, ceremoniously released the pillow to the floor and slammed the door behind her. I tried to reason with her. I told her to at least give me a blanket. Anyway, I had all night to think about things as I slept in my chair, covered with my coat. I didn’t think I was all that bad. I certainly wasn’t there to live up to her expectations, canlı bahis siteleri but there had to be a way we could meet in the middle. I hoped there was a middle. Maybe there was, and maybe she was already there. —————– I woke up to the sounds of her moving around. I went to take a piss and saw that she was packing some suitcases. I had to do something. Anything. She pushed past me when I entered our room, getting something else to put into a bag. “Look, look, look,” I started as I grabbed a wrist. She swung her arm in the air to make me release her. She refused to look at me. “Look!” I demanded, blocking her. She dared me with a glare. “You’re right. I’m an asshole. I can be a real prick sometimes. Mom should have spanked me.” I don’t know where my next thought came from. “Hey, maybe it’s not too late.” “You’ll always be a prick.” “No, I mean, I mean, maybe I deserve that spanking.” She looked confused, but she was listening. “I mean, you should spank me. Now.” I shrugged. “You know, instead of leaving.” She huffed as she walked around me. I tried again. “Look, look!” I got down on all fours. “I mean it. Do it and stay. Or leave anyway.” I looked up and saw she was watching. “Or stay.” She slowly shook her head at me, turned away, and then looked back at me again. “You’re serious?” “Sure. Yes! I meant yes.” I couldn’t canlı bahis read her. She sure as hell didn’t smile but she didn’t scowl either. “Get out, I’m busy,” she finally said. I closed the door behind me and paced in front of it. I raised my fist to punch the wall but I didn’t. I paced some more and silently threatened the innocent wall again. I know I can be a prick – okay, I am a prick – but why did I have to be a prick to her? Of all the people in the world, why did I have to be a prick to her? I deserved all those little punishments she’d handed out. That’s probably the only way she could justify staying with a prick like me. I was going to call into work, but she exited the bedroom, walked past me like I wasn’t there, and left. She didn’t bring her bags with her, though. I hoped that was a good sign and went to work after all. —————– When I got home that evening, she was already in the closed-off bedroom. I gently knocked and called, “Hey.” The door opened, and I watched her stride away from it, past the bed. I took a single step inside. She swung back around and said, “Okay, soldier, it’s time for your spanking. Drop your trousers.” I was surprised that she called my bluff on the whole spanking thing.  “Really?” “Underwear too,” she added. I did as I was instructed. “Assume the position.” I got down on my hands and knees. I suppose my face was red, because that was damned embarrassing, with my ass presented like that, and my dick just hanging there. I was pissed at myself for getting myself into this situation and pissed at her just because. 

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