Terri and Jennifer

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This is a story about God, sex, religion, and guilt and how you can’t have one without all the rest. I’m sorry if it’s the most contradictory story you’ve ever seen in .


Jen was lying in a bed wearing nothing but her panties. Beside her, under the thin covers, was another woman…sleeping, Jen hoped. Because Jen was touching herself.

How did this happen?


It was an annual weekend retreat for women – when they left kids and husbands behind and got together for some fun, a speaker, some singing, and a feeling of physical, emotional, spiritual renewal.

At least that was the idea. Sometimes Jen found preparing for it all more stressful than just staying home. Her hubby would be fine, but Jen still left sticky notes everywhere with advice and instructions. Then packing…trying to figure out what to take without filling three suitcases. Warm clothes? Cool summer stuff? One sweater or two? Backup toothbrush? book? But is that one too trashy? So used to packing up kids, she felt indecisive and unable to do it for herself.

Still, she was looking forward to it. She planned to hang out with her friend Susan for most of the time. They enjoyed getting together for coffee or a girl’s night out when they could, but this would be so much cooler – no more interruptions or needing to hustle home.

Then the phone rang. It was Susan.

“Hey…packed yet?” asked Jen.

“Um…Jen…I’m sorry,” said Susan.

“Oh no…what? Don’t tell me you can’t make it!”

“I’m sorry…both the kids are sick…and I don’t think Tim can handle everything on his own,” Susan answered. “I’m so sorry, but I think I’d better stay home.”

Jen was deflated like a balloon. “Really? But…I…” she began to stammer. She already had some opinions about Tim and how much he helped – or did not help – around the house.

“I’m really sorry.”

Well, FUCK, thought Jen in a most unchristian way as she hung up. Dammit. Damndamndamn.

What now?

She wondered if Susan would lose her registration fee. Well, who cares, thought Jen. She was so furious. Her roommate; her main friend on this weekend – gone. She was packed and ready to go; otherwise she might have just stopped right there and turned on the TV with a tub of chocolate ice cream.

Instead, she sat outside and waited for her ride. Soon a minivan drove up with three other women, none of whom Jen knew that well. Susan was supposed to be picked up too. Instead, Jen sat quietly and tried to make small talk. She was so disappointed that she couldn’t share the enthusiasm of the others. Instead she brooded and wondered what she would do all weekend and whether she’d get a strange roommate.

It seemed a long drive to the retreat camp. Finally they arrived, and bounded out. The air was fresh; but the place was an unknown. Jen recognized a few other faces and said hi, trying to relax and just get into the swing of things.

At the registration desk she explained her roommate bailed on her (er, “couldn’t make it). “Okay,” said the woman. “We’ve had to make a few changes anyway.” She pointed to a woman across the room. “That’s Terri,” she said. “She doesn’t have a roommate; would you mind sharing with her?”

Jen looked at the other woman, who was turned partly away and talking. Terri looked a few years older than her; maybe even an empty-nester. What did she have in common with this woman? She saw Terri smile; she at least had a sweet face. But Jen turned back and asked in her politest voice, “I’m sure that would be okay, but is there anyone else? Um..I guess…I mean…?”

The woman laughed and said “Nope.” Then she smiled and said, “I’m sure it’s difficult to share with a stranger. But I’m sure you guys will get along fine.”bv

Jen swallowed and said, “okay.” Damndamndamn. This was not the weekend she had planned.

Not at all.

She went over to Terri and turned on a plastic smile. “Hi, I’m Jen,” she said. “I think you and I are roommates.”

Terri smiled sweetly again – if it was plastic, it was pretty good – and said, “Hi Jen. Great to meet you.” They said a few more things about themselves. Terri was from about two hours away and had never been to this retreat either, though she knew a lot of the people here. She was indeed an empty nester – two kids, both away at college. Her own roommate hadn’t made it either – her mother was sick. Jen just said Susan couldn’t make it.

Terri flashed her smile again and said, “Last minute bailout, huh?”

“Yup…literally. I was all packed when she called.”

“Let me guess…just couldn’t leave her family? Had to be a mom and wife first?”

Jen was startled. “How’d you know?”

“Hey, I’ve been there,” said Terri. “I missed so many things because I thought I just couldn’t leave the house.” That smile again. “Something in your voice sounds like you were a bit mad.”

Jen felt deflated again…but this time it was the anger escaping out of her. “Furious,” she admitted.

“And now you’re yenibosna escort stuck with some stranger.”

Jen couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Well…”

“It’s okay,” said Terry. “I’m not offended. You can find another room, or roommate.”

Now Jen laughed. “I already tried…we’re stuck together.” She started to really relax. Terri seemed all right.

“Okay,” said Terri. “Want to find the room? My things are already there.” She reached down and lifted Jen’s suitcase. “Follow me.” Jen followed.

The room was…campy…thin walls, cheap furniture, smell of Lysol cleanser. There was a single bed and a double bed, with Terri’s stuff sitting on it. Jen moved to put her things on the single bed but Terri stopped her. “Want it? Or we can flip for it.” Jen shook her head.

“It’s fine..you were here first.”

“Okay, then…I choose the single bed,” said Terri.

Jen laughed. “No fair.”

“It’s okay,” Terri said. Again.

Jen decided to assert herself and take the single. She walked over and dropped her suitcase onto the mattress. BOINGGGGG. It nearly bounced off. She sat down on it. Her butt felt like it was touching the floor.

“Oh geez.”

Laughing, Terri came over and sat down herself. The bed creaked and she quickly got up again. “This bed sucks,” she declared. “It’s like a trampoline.” She looked like she was about to make a joke..but she saw Jen’s gloomy face. How many disappointments could someone have in one day?

“Well,” said Terri, “How do you feel about sharing the double?”

Incredibly awkward, thought Jen, but what choice was there? So she repeated it out loud. “Frankly, kinda awkward…but if you don’t mind? Not a lot of choices left beyond the floor.”

“Hey, it’s cool,” said Terri. “I mean, we’ve known each other for twenty minutes now.”

So Jen left her suitcase on the trampoline bed but took some of her other things to the side of the double. “Too many kids jumping on that bed, I guess,” she said.

“Or someone..someones…gave it a good workout,” Terri joked. She then turned a distinct red. “Sorry…I have some off-color humor sometimes.” she said.

Now it was Jen’s turn. “It’s okay,” she smiled. “That was funny.” There was a secret unspoken flash in her mind. Terri was clearly a bit earthy…and not too prudish. Obviously not in the depths that Jen had sometimes been…but…Jen suddenly felt a lot more comfortable.

Settled in, they decided it was time to head out for dinner. They lined up with dozens of other women, almost none of whom Jen recognized…one or two of her van companions, a couple others from church she didn’t know well either. Terri seemed to know at least half the people and chatted briefly with everyone around them. Moving through the cafeteria line, she occasionally glanced back at Jen, who was slowly scooping the mysterious glop and wilting vegetables onto her plate, making jokes about whether each pan was animal, vegetable or mineral. Jen was secretly enjoying the simple pleasure of neither making a meal nor having to fill the plates of small children as she went along. Effortless glop was fine, thank you.

She briefly wondered if Terri wanted to go sit with other people rather than Jen, but Terri quickly pointed to a table and steered Jen into a place around some other women, all a bit older around Terri’s age. Terri introduced her and again made jokes about how unlucky Jen was to end up with her. The self-deprecation came naturally and Jen began to realize more and more how confident Terri was with herself. Terri briefly introduced the others but didn’t make a big deal of Jen being the newcomer, and the conversation soon flowed.

But Jen still felt a bit left out; most of the women had teenagers or older kids and several worked or had a lot more free time than Jen, and she struggled to relate. When she made an observation about the stress of small kids, the others often smiled and said – a bit patronizingly, it seemed – that they remembered that, but it would pass. Jen began to feel alone and frustrated again.

There was a first session after dinner. As they walked to it, Terri asked Jen how she was doing. “Okay,” Jen lied.

Terri smiled that warm smile again. “I think you’re still a little stressed out. This probably wasn’t quite the weekend you planned.” Jen smiled back but said nothing.

The session was…hollow. Jen was not in a bad mood, but not a very good or receptive one. She felt emotionally tired and strung out, without a lot in the spiritual gas tank. It started with a bit of singing, which usually filled her up, but she only knew a couple of songs at all. Jen felt a little better by the time the speaker got going, but then things went downhill again. She was almost annoying. They all needed to do more, apparently. They weren’t being the women they were meant to be, but this weekend they would learn to do better. By the end Jen felt a bit beaten up. Yup, a failure. That’s me. They went zeytinburnu escort back to the dining hall where cookies and decaf were served and Jen ate at least three.

Terri had been busy visiting again but they walked back to the room alone. They talked about the songs – Terri didn’t know most of them either – but said little about the speaker. They continued to chat about nothing in particular as they got ready for bed.

Then, disappointment

14 of the day for Jen. She couldn’t find her pyjama bottoms. Idiot. She had washed a pair for the weekend but they were still sitting in the dryer. G-r-e-a-t. Well at least she had remembered the long tee. She turned to Terri and explained. Terri replied that she had discovered she had forgotten to pack socks. They both laughed.

Jen went down the hall to brush her teeth and use the bathroom, and when she returned, Terri was in her own pyjamas. Terri then went down the hall and Jen quickly stripped off her clothes and put on the long baggy tee. She hoped it was sufficiently modest for sleeping in a strange bed with a near stranger, and she climbed under the thin covers. It was a warm night and a sheet and thin blanket were plenty.

Terri returned, yawning. It wasn’t that late. If it had been Susan, Jen would have wanted to stay up half the night talking, but Terri looked ready for sleep.

“Ready to turn out the light?” asked Jen.

“Sure…unless you want to read or something,” said Terri. Jen said no, and Terri switched off the lamp. Light glowed through the window and they could still see in the dark.

“What did you think of the speaker tonight?” asked Terri.

Jen bit her lip in the near-darkness. “She was okay.” She paused and went on. “I guess I want to hear more of what she has to say before I really know.”

“That’s nicely evasive,” said Terri. “I guess she wasn’t quite what I expected..she seems pretty traditional.” She also paused. “Not that traditional isn’t good.”

“Yeah, it’s good,” said Jen. “But…I guess, you can be traditional and open, or traditional and closed.”

“She seems kinda closed,” said Terri.

“Yeah.” said Jen.

Terri yawned again. “Well, maybe we can talk more about it tomorrow. I really need to get some sleep.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

Jen closed her eyes and thought more about the speaker. About everything. Terri really did seem pretty cool. She clearly had it together, though, unlike Jen. Why can’t I be more like that, she thought. Why can’t I just say it the way it is? Why can’t I just be honest? Why can’t I just be myself and who I am.? She opened her eyes again and stared at the ceiling.

She kept fretting. She thought again of Susan and felt almost cold. You could never count on Susan. And the women from church…sure, they were nice to Jen, but did they really care? Jen had really tried to make friends but it was so hard. She hadn’t had a good friend in years..not really since she had kids and her world shrank into a tiny house-sized box. Now she had mom-friends but all they had in common was their kids. That was all they ever talked about.

Maybe it would change. She thought of the women at dinner. They were nice, but not her friends – too patronizing, at a different life stage. Maybe when Jen was older..when the kids were older…she would find friends like that. Great. Just wait another ten or twenty years, that’s all.

Jen felt so lonely.

She could hear Terri’s breathing…now regular, steady. She was asleep. Jen was still staring at the ceiling..a bit reluctant to move around too much with this other person right beside her. She just lay on her back. And closed her eyes.

And she knew what she wanted to do.

She began to move her hands. One began to climb up her body. It felt good just moving on her tummy, over the shirt, but it wasn’t quite enough. She wanted more. It kept going..up to her breast and slowly settling on her nipple. She began to massage herself.

It felt nice.

As she massaged her breast through her shirt, she felt her nipple slowly react, perking up just a bit. She was gratified at her own body’s response. She felt a bit better, even though here she was feeling up her boob while lying beside her new friend.

It felt really good.

Jen’s other hand began to move up and over as well, soon resting on her other breast and nipple. She was now on her back, both arms bent at the elbow and busy massaging her boobs through her shirt. Now it felt good but a bit wacky.

She looked over at the back of Terri’s head, and saw her body rising and falling with the sound of her breath.

All the usual thoughts about masturbation were flooding through Jen’s head – and some new ones too. First, it was disgusting and shameful. Second, that it felt pretty damn good already and she had hardly done anything. Third, that whether or not it was good, this was not the place to be feeling yourself up. Fourth, that if Terri mecidiyeköy escort suddenly woke up, Jen would soon have no friends at all at this place. Fifth, that all that made it even hotter to do it right now. Sixth, that the only reason Jen was doing it was that she was lonely and tired and upset and wasn’t really up to thinking rationally. Seventh, that the above was true but it really did take the pain away and would help her sleep – it wasn’t like she had something else to do or places to go. Eighth, that maybe she should pray about it. She felt hot resentment at that one. She was almost bitter – like, that no matter where she turned, there was a wall. So she ignored it.

Ninth, that it really wouldn’t be hard at all to roll her tee up a bit, there under the sheet, and get much better access to her bare skin.

So Jen ignored her other feelings and moved her hands down to the hem of the shirt resting on her hips, lifted up her bum a bit, and began lifting and rolling it back.up above her waist. Now her bottom half was all exposed, including panties. And she could easily poke her hands underneath her shirt now, and move them back up to where they were before. So one hand moved up…now to her bare breast…her bare nipple…and started to massage again.

The other hand moved lightly in circles now on top of her waist, over her navel, her skin, even down her hips again. She knew exactly where it was going but had time. It felt so good.

It felt so good to just touch herself and comfort herself and feel herself respond to her own touch. She was Jen – wife, mother, and sexual being. Sex goddess. Oh yeah. She felt almost light-headed and drunk as her fingers started brushing the top of her panties. Her other hand was now firmly teasing her nipple, while the other one was yearning for similar attention.

Jen felt the usual electric pulse as she pushed against her pubic hair inside her panties. She could feel the wetness starting. Mmm. She switched to her other breast, trying as always to somehow touch both nipples at once with one hand. Now she was rubbing..both her nipple..and the rest of herself…reaching down over the panties. Patience. Hold on. She retreated back to her navel and roamed over her bare skin, trying not to push under the elastic.

Then suddenly she had an even crazier thought; number ten on the list. Why not take off the tee entirely.

This led to thoughts eleven, twelve and thirteen which don’t need to be elaborated. She resisted, and of course it built in her mind. Her…pussy..she had no better word…was moist and asking for attention. Her nipples felt good. But it would be even better to get a little more bare. Yeah. Crazy. Topless. But the covers were still on…and Terri was fast asleep. And it would feel so good. It would so show everyone. Jen goes on a women’s retreat and gets practically nude and masturbates. Yeah world.

Her fingers had slipped under her panties but she had already decided. And each touch down below made it more inevitable, even though it would mean stopping for a moment. And soon Jen found herself rolling the tee up..over her boobs, off one shoulder, than the other….and over her head and at the top of her pillow.

Okay, she was…topless. Woo hoo. Her exposed nipple rubbed against the cotton sheet while she massaged the other, and her other hand went back to its duties. The elastic pressed down on her wrist as she slowly fingered and caressed, moving down, down. Mmm. She was pretty slick and soon settled on her favorite place…slowly teasing and rubbing it…moving up, down, sometimes a little bit side to side, probing a few other spots but always coming back to the place…where it all mattered…where it all felt good. Could she make herself cum? She was so horny that she had almost forgotten the silence, the stillness of lying there beside Terri. She just wanted now to bring herself to orgasm…to cum – yeah, that’s right, world. Jen needs to finger herself and cum.

Suddenly she felt Terri shifting. She was turning over. Jen froze, hands on boobs and pussy. Her bare shoulders were clearly showing, not to mention her crumpled shirt. She couldn’t move. Her heart was thudding. She counted to ten and looked over. Terri was facing her, eyes closed.

Jen silently moved her hands away. She watched Terri for a few seconds…and then slowly put her shirt back on, rolling it down all the way. Well, that was interesting. She felt her heart still racing. She closed her eyes.

Soon it was morning.


Jen woke up disoriented…where was she? Terri was gone. It was after eight o’clock. Jen realized there were no kids pulling at her. She stretched out and then relaxed, slowly remembering the night before. Had she really taken her shirt off? Did Terri almost catch her? The shame starting rushing at her. She decided to get up.

She rose, the tee halfway down her hips, and quickly put on jeans as well. The first session was at nine and she had to shower and eat. But hey, no kids. She picked out her towel, washcloth, soap, shampoo and bra, underwear and shirt..nothing else really necessary. She couldn’t believe some women wore makeup on weekends like this. She opened the door and headed down the hall to the bathrooms and showers.

Terri was coming the other way, with wet hair. “Good morning,” she sang. “Sleep well?”

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