Live, Laugh, Locked Ch. 01
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My name is Holly, I am a 28 year old woman, and I’ve just finished writing the script that might ruin my channel forever. I’m so stressed about having to record this tomorrow, that I just have to get my thoughts written down somewhere. As terrifying as it is, I feel like I have to do it. We don’t talk about it, but I know for sure that other women have the same struggles I do, and this device has been so helpful in helping me get closer to being the type of woman I want to be.
My channel is a lifestyle blog where I focus on my experience trying to live a conservative, traditional lifestyle in the modern world. I share my experiences being modest and abstinent and generally trying to avoid the sorts of things I believe aren’t healthy for my mind and soul. That’s why I’ve been so desperate to get my habit under control.
I’ve wasted enough time without coming forward and saying it: I’m addicted to masturbation.
I’ve tried to stop doing this to myself for years. My mother actually caught me doing it the very first time I tried and explained to me that I really shouldn’t ever be doing that. I didn’t even know what I was doing at the time, I was just randomly probing this new sensation I’d discovered. She wasn’t angry, but I was still so embarrassed at it. That embarrassment kept me away for probably months, but my curiosity got the better of me over time and I continued to sneak away to somewhere I knew I wouldn’t be caught to try more and more.
I hadn’t even had an orgasm from it yet. Eventually I discovered that sensation too. It took me by surprise and I couldn’t keep the scream in my mouth. My mother heard and I was caught and embarrassed again. I couldn’t sneak away the same way as before anymore. She’d know. But I kept needing to find moments to be alone with myself.
I hoped I’d just grow out of it, but it continued as I went to college. My roommate replaced my mother as the person I had to hide from. I made my values no secret on campus and couldn’t keep myself from judging and criticizing my roommate who went out and partied every other night. It felt like the stakes were actually much higher trying to avoid her. My mother scolded me, but my roommate would absolutely humiliate me if she ever kıbrıs escort walked in on me. I just knew how much she’d love telling everyone on our floor about how she caught perfect, pure ***** with my legs splayed out wide, both hands working my body. I’d gotten better at hiding it though, so she never got to have that pleasure.
That’s been my situation ever since. Working mostly from home on my channel is usually great, but it gives me plenty of opportunities to indulge myself. So many afternoons where something caught my eye for just a half second, which slowly leads to two hours of my afternoon disappearing. I needed to stop it. I needed a solution. Until recently, all I had found was an endless stream of lectures about how it was ‘just natural’ and that once every two or three days wasn’t so bad. That’s fine for them, maybe, but being ‘just natural’ isn’t good enough for me. I got pretty desperate in my search for a better solution.
In case anyone is left wondering where this is going, I’ll cut to the chase. I bought the Perfect Tulip chastity belt. It works. I love it. It arrived two weeks ago and I have nothing but good things to say about it. I’ll talk about that more in a moment.
I knew about chastity belts for years, so what took me so long to finally buy one? I first looked them up in that dorm room after a particularly close call with that roommate, but I was immediately disappointed with what I found. All of their sites showing women on their knees, tits out, begging to be used. The were all costumes, nothing more it seemed. I’d check once or twice a year and just find more of the same. New, more expensive models had come out but they were all the same fetish toys as before.
Obviously, that all changed last month when I did my usual search after four days in a row wasting away my afternoon… and evening. The Perfect Tulip site was the top sponsored result, but I’d never seen the name before so I decided to look. The site was different from all the others. The belts were only shown being worn by anyone as part of their sizing guide. Their tagline was just one word “Effective.” I normally research all of my purchases very carefully, but I just knew at first site that kıbrıs escort bayan this was the one for me. After years of searching, I knew what I was looking for when I found it. I measured myself and put the order in that night.
It showed up just two days later. The site warned me that they ship through a private courier to maintain total discursion, so it didn’t surprise me when the plain black sprinter-van showed up to drop it off. I blushed deeply as the man made me meet him at the door to sign for the package, but the box was unmarked, so he had no clue what he just delivered.
I tore the box open immediately and it was exactly as I had hoped. The belt itself is nothing like anything I’ve seen before-next to no visible metal. Instead, it’s made of something almost like cloth. It felt soft to the touch, but was only very slowly flexible. It shipped entirely flat; the waistband disconnected at the hips. I was disappointed at first, thinking that I’d fallen for just a simple scam in my desperation.
The instructions that came with it explained everything though and my fears were put to rest. According to the instructions, the material was entirely their own invention, with the closest thing like it existing before being memory foam, but that’s only a very rough comparison. They explain:
“The material is an adaptive fabric, with a few metal components added for comfort features. The fabric is very resistant to change. It really doesn’t matter how gently or how forcefully you try to bend it, it will only flex as fast as it’s designed to. This is perfect for our chastity device. When authorized, it only takes a minute or two to slowly coax the belt open, but it makes it nearly impossible to sneak a finder between the belt and your skin.”
“In addition, this material has a shape it wants to take and if nothing is in it’s way, that’s exactly what it will do. The corners of the belt will slowly curl inward and close around you until it fits flush, but not tight against your body. That’s where we get our name. If you leave our belt out without weight on it, it will just curl up like a tulip bulb over time and it will take a very long time to reshape. We caution you to keep in in the shipping escort kıbrıs packaging until you’re ready to start your chastity journey.”
I looked over and saw that they were right, I had set it aside and I saw the edges already raised a few inches up from the floor. I hurried to read the rest of the instructions for how to put it on before it totally closed up.
Since it took the shape of my body by itself, the process was basically automatic. All I had to do was hold it in place, making sure the openings to allow my various bodily functions remained lined up with where they needed to be and the belt would close around me. As soon as I knew what to do, I stripped my pants and underwear off and stood, holding it in place. Just as promised, the belt slowly conformed to my body over about ten minutes. When it reached it’s final shape, it was just as good at the site promised. There wasn’t a single gap between the edge of the belt and my skin.
All that was left was the waist belt. Without it, All I would have to do is slowly pry the belt off of myself for a minute and I’d be back to my old habits. The slim belt around the top would be the final thing keeping me from doing that. It ratcheted closed like the shoes for my peloton bike, except of course for the padlock which double locked the mechanism to make sure I didn’t accidently tighten it any more.
I looked at myself in the mirror, with the packaging and my clothes still where they were in the background from my rush to put it on. I smiled to myself seeing how the lavender belt looked. I knew already that this was finally going to help me break my habit. It already had really. I had the dildo I kept hidden in the back of my drawer set out, figuring that I’d give myself one last indulgence before locking up. The rush to get the belt on cancelled those plans though. I put it back in my drawer, knowing that it didn’t matter if it caught my eye to tempt me anymore.
Since that day:
It’s only been two weeks, but I’m already totally sold on this belt. I haven’t been perfect. I unlocked myself 3 times including once just before writing this to clear my head, but I feel in control now. It feels so relieving to have this much more power over myself. That’s why I have to share it with everyone. Tomorrow I film my video telling the world about my experience. A few days later my editor will post it. I already made her promise not to let me back out. This is such a huge week for me. I imagine I’ll have lots more thought to share as this journey continues.
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