My Descent Ch. 02
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Not so surprisingly sleep did not come easy on Saturday night, it seemed I tossed and turned most of the night. But I did wake up Sunday with a new determination to make everything in my world much clearer and simply brush aside the events leading up to my fitful night of no sleep. With that thought clearly ingrained I began some much needed tidying up of my dorm room. After cleaning up I would shower, possibly run to the grocery and see if Stacy would like to spend some time together just hanging out and watching TV. I had picked up my laundry from all over my room and was preparing to take it to the laundry center in the building and finally get it caught up. As I was walking toward the door my phone rang, not looking, simply assuming it was Stacy I answered. It was David with a very cheery, “good morning, how are you this morning?”
I froze, set my laundry down, slowly moved to my bed and said, “oh hi David, I’m doing well how are you?” He replied that he too was doing well but was wondering if I had a chance to consider what had happened and wanted to know my thoughts. I immediately started to stammer, stutter and felt completely unsure of how to explain to him that it was definitely just the one time and would never happen again. Before I collected my thoughts to speak rather than mumble nonsense, David said, “On second thought I will share my thoughts with you.”
This was perfect, it would give me the time I needed to focus my efforts on what to say to David so that he would understand it was literally a one and done.
David began, “First I should make it truly clear that I never, ever thought for a second that we would ever be having this conversation. I’m sure you feel the same that neither of us in any way ever intended for anything like this to happen. But reality is that it obviously did.”
That was a relief and was very nice to hear him say exactly that, he took the words right out of my mouth.
He continued, “I also must say that the past few days since it happened my thoughts don’t seem to stray very far from the look in your eyes when you stared at my cock, it was as if you were transfixed.”
( The vision came storming back to my memory as well, seeing it standing so proudly and so immense.)
He continued, “And when you walked over to me not taking your eyes away for even a second, literally dropping to your knees, taking it in your hand the way you did, so lovingly. The way you looked at it as if you were in a trance, when you opened your mouth and I looked down at you taking me into your mouth. The feeling is so hard to describe, it was so consuming, I felt so powerful. The look on your face, I feel as if I must tell you it was absolutely the best I have ever received; you truly are an exceptionally good cocksucker.”
That word, I wasn’t ready for that word, but he was right, that is exactly what I did, what I was at that moment. He was talking I could hear him but I wasn’t listening I was in shock by the name associated with the act and I realized as he described the entire scene I was rock hard and leaking pre-cum. I snapped back to reality when it registered that David had said, “And when you swallowed my load something about it felt so right.” He then added, “I am so hard right now just thinking about it again.”
I said, “But David it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right at all, I’m just not like that. Stacy and I are hitting it off so well, I can truly see a future with her.”
He replied, “Yes I can understand that and please forgive me if I am overstepping any boundaries I just need to get this all out, I think we both do.”
He was right and I knew he was right but I was struggling so badly, why was I struggling so much. Just tell him no it will never happen again.
David asked, “Have you thought anymore about it at all?”
What do I say, I replied, “Of course I have David, I mean it happened I can’t just mentally delete it.” I don’t know why it happened, I have no idea what came over me but yes it happened and yes I have thought about it.”
He went on to say, “It’s just you seemed to enjoy it at least as much I did, I can still see the look on your face. What were you thinking, I mean when you knelt down and took it in your hand like you did?”
Every pore of my being was screaming hang up, just hang up the phone. But that wasn’t fair to him and it certainly wouldn’t help me to put it behind me. So I chose to be honest. “David I was amazed at your size, the heaviness of it in my hand, how stiff you were, touching it like I did, feeling it, I wanted it in my mouth.” My own cock was throbbing at this point and dripping profusely.
He said, “I want it again so badly, I am so hard for you, do you want it again?”
“Have you even thought about doing it again.”
This was it, this was the time the proverbial moment of truth. “David even if I wanted too again, I just can’t. I really want to move forward with Stacy, to see where it may lead. She’s beautiful and funny, charming, really a girl kağıthane escort I feel proud to be with. It was a one time thing David I really hope you understand.”
Okay I said it, it felt good saying it out loud, hearing the words actually come from me. There was a slight pause and David said, “I understand, I really do. I hope from my perspective you understand why I feel the way I do, I didn’t know that I could or will ever meet a better cocksucker.”
He said it again and my cock is throbbing, I am so rock hard. As he was explaining how he had hoped that it would have been a more pleasant experience for me and that he was a little surprised at how I had not been thinking about it as positively as he had been but he understood.
I was still trying to wrap my mind around the term he was using to describe me. The conversation ended with this statement.
“I am glad we had this conversation, I will see you Tuesday morning for our tutoring session. I’m going to go and jerk this thing off and be thinking of you.” as he chuckled.
I gulped and said my goodbyes to him.
I sat in a daze for several minutes, it was over, taken care of never to be an issue again but why was I so aroused. I needed to stay busy to stick with my plans for the day. I went and changed into a different pair of shorts that did not have a clearly visible huge wet spot on the front and continued to the laundry. I loaded my laundry into the washer and sat back to wind down and relax as I waited. The conversation with David repeating in my mind, going over and over what was said. I finished it, I put my foot down, put my feelings in the forefront and it felt good. But he called me a cocksucker and more than once, why was that on my mind. I mean he was right, that is what I did I sucked his cock. I was contemplating the label and what it meant to me when someone else entered the small laundry area, I barely noticed caught up in my own issues. He loaded his laundry, sat down, looking over and speaking to me he said.
“Does doing laundry always turn you on?” as he laughed at my noticeable hard on.
I quickly responded “No but thinking of my girlfriend while I am waiting on it to finish has an effect.” We both laughed, he began reading a book and I continued my thoughts around being a cocksucker. A stranger in a laundry just commented on my hard on, a male stranger, I just spent the better part of an hour talking with a guy who I had been a cocksucker for. I started wondering about the stranger, did it excite him seeing me with a hard on, could he somehow know I had done what I had done. Is there a way he can tell that I was a cocksucker, although only once. I wonder how big his cock is, is he turned on by the fact that I was hard? I tried to see, I was trying to catch a glimpse of his cock, just to see if he was hard. At that moment the buzzer went off and my laundry was finished, I adjusted my cock so as not to be so noticeable gathered my laundry and was going to exit the laundry. Before leaving I again adjusted myself, but this time it was to draw his attention to it, by doing so maybe I could see if he was hard. I walked passed him at full staff asked him to have a great day but sadly couldn’t really see what I wanted to see.
Returning to my room I continued to stay busy, putting my laundry away and deciding to take a shower and call Stacy. Besides a nice hot shower is just what I needed. Basking in the warmth of the water cascading over me I had hoped it would help to clear my thoughts. I started thinking of Stacy, how beautiful and hot she is, how her full breasts feel, her nicely rounded ass, about the blowjob she had given me last night. God it felt so good, the way she swirled her tongue, how she enjoyed kissing and licking my balls. She was very good at it, a very adept cocksucker. That word again, David told me I was very good at it also, I should have kissed and licked his balls, why didn’t I. When I filled her mouth with my cum, the amazing release the taste kissing her after, swallowing David’s load. I needed to cum, if I could just cum it would help. I started stroking thinking of how it looked looking down at Stacy last night, how David must have felt looking down at me. There is a certain element of power I mean the person in front of you is on their knees, basically kneeling before you. God that’s what I did I knelt before David, more precisely to his cock and I sucked him I sucked him as good as I knew how, It deserved it, that manly, hard, very big cock deserved it, David deserved it, it was his cock. That was the thought that brought me over the edge, quickly a feeling akin to panic set in. Catch the cum, don’t waste the cum my left hand quickly cupped under the head of my cock I caught as much as I could in my hand. As soon as the throbbing subsided I brought my palm to my mouth and licked it up hungrily.
Realizing what had just taken place I got out of the shower and immediately knew that I needed Stacy, needed to spend kartal escort time with her and now. I called Stacy and we chatted for a little while and I asked her if she wanted to hang out, grab something to eat and just maybe watch TV.
She said, “I would love to but I have to go with my parents to a family event about 2 hours away, I thought I told you that last night.”
She had told me and I had forgotten. The conversation ended with Stacy saying that if she did return early enough she would give me a call, if not she would see me in the morning.
Well I now have the rest of my day to myself and I am on a mission to rescue my masculinity I thought to myself. I will go to the gym, I haven’t been in over a week and maybe that’s what I need just to treat myself to a good workout and some much needed stress relief. I gathered my attire for a good work out and headed to the gym. Being Sunday afternoon I pretty much had the gym to myself, I quickly changed and set out to complete as many reps as I could on various equipment. After about an hour and a half I was feeling much less stress and had forgotten everything outside of my workout. The gym was filling up and I was ready to wrap things up, a quick sauna, shower and I would be going.
I had the sauna to myself and it felt so wonderful, relaxing and feeling the warmth I sat with my towel draped around me. After a few minutes another person came in and as I was almost ready to go the timing could not have been better. A short walk to the locker/shower room, a quick shower and something to eat on the way home. It was a great decision to spend the time working out.
I peeled myself out of my sweat drenched clothing to head to the shower, my towel wrapped around me. I showered and felt even more stress being removed from my body, walking back to the locker room it had seemed to quickly fill up with 4-5 men mulling around. I made my way to the locker I was assigned to get dressed and be on my way, in the same area there were 2 men obviously coming in to work out together, having a conversation. One of them was nude the other in his underwear, I started to get dressed but caught myself looking their way as casual as I could. The nude man had an impressive cock even flaccid. The other was well defined as I could see his cock outlined in his underwear. I was getting hard, envisioning myself kneeling before him, thinking of the taste of cum. Shit get dressed as quickly as possible and get out was all I could think of. I was frantically putting my clothes on secretly praying no one would notice that I was hard.
I practically ran from the gym and on my home I kept going over the events of the day, noticing the two men in the locker room, noticing the stranger in the laundry area, turned on yet again. And the conversation with David, I know it wasn’t the result he had hoped for but it was what needed to be. But this was becoming a complete distraction to me, I had been noticing men all day, more correctly noticing their cocks. I had greedily licked up my own cum, David had called me a cocksucker, i envisioned myself kneeling to a stranger. I needed to talk, I needed a friend, someone to help me through. But who, it’s not something you can just discuss with anyone.
David was the only one, he said he understood I could talk with him, he would help if he could. I had made it clear that it wasn’t going to happen again that it was a one time thing. I called him, when he answered I said, “Hi David are you busy?”
“Of course not what’s up?”
“I was wondering well actually hoping that maybe we could talk for a little while if that’s okay?”
“Sure it’s fine with me, over the phone or were you thinking in person?”
“I prefer in person, if you don’t mind I am sitting here by myself feeling pretty lonely to be honest.”
I knew David lived off campus in an apartment and that it wasn’t that far away and he had told me he understood, that thought just kept going through my head.
David said, “You are more than welcome to come by my place if you like.”
I was thinking why not, I needed someone to talk to, we were both feeling lonely and I knew in my heart I could trust him, he wouldn’t try anything especially after our conversation earlier.
“Sure David that would be great, I can stop by in say 20-30 minutes?”
He was elated not to be alone, gave me his address and I could finally get all of these things out in the open with someone who understood.
On my way over to David’s I was feeling a sense of excitement, to be able to talk openly and not be judged would be so nice.
When I arrived David greeted me with a warm smile and said, “I am so glad you called, please come in. Would you care for something to drink?”
“A bottled water would be great, thank you.”
I sat on his couch and he sat in his recliner and he simply said, “I’ve never really had a good friend that would just call me to talk about things, I appreciate kozyatağı escort that you thought of me in that way, so what’s going on, what’s on your mind?”
“I began, obviously you know what happened between us which I can’t explain and I am sure of my decision of not continuing and thank you for respecting that. But things are just happening, thoughts I guest, I was doing laundry this morning after you and I talked another guy was doing his as well and I couldn’t help noticing him, looking at him.”
David stopped me and said, “I think for this to be the most beneficial you just need to call it all what it is, what exactly were you looking at?”
He was right I was skating around the true issue. I cleared my throat and said, ” David I was looking at his cock, trying to see what it looked like, was it hard, I was hard thinking of what you called me earlier today, I didn’t care if he noticed that I was hard, I only wanted to see what his looked like.”
David again interrupted me, “Please say that again and use the correct words, let’s really get it all out in the open.”
I started again, my cock was hard, “Thinking about you calling me a cocksucker earlier today, I didn’t care if he noticed my cock was hard, I only wanted to see his cock.” Every time I used the words I felt weaker somehow, saying those things out loud was something new for me.
David was just nodding, taking it all in, my cock was hard I could feel it but I needed to be open. I continued, “when I got back to my room I just wanted to focus on taking my mind off of everything but I was so horny, so turned on. I took a shower and my cock was hard, thinking about you, thinking about the stranger, I’m sorry thinking about you and the strangers cocks. I stroked myself trying to think about Stacy but my mind wandered back to how I must have looked to you being on my knees before you, sucking your cock. I exploded and wanted to lick up my cum, I caught it in my hand and licked up every drop.”
David continued to smile and nod.
“I needed to try and get my mind off of it so I went to the gym, had a great workout and was preparing to leave while 2 other men were in the locker area, one was completely naked. I was looking at their cocks, thinking of kneeling before them David, basically sizing them up. I started getting hard myself and simply had to get out of there. So as I have shared it has been a very trying day to say the least so I needed to talk to someone who I could open up to and let it out.”
David smiled and said, “Yes I can see how it must have been very difficult.” He was sitting with his legs crossed simply smiling.
“So tell me how do you actually feel about being a cocksucker now?”
That word again, especially coming from him, the man I became a cocksucker for. “It bothers me, it sounds so demeaning, degrading I guess.”
“But it appears to turn you on based on your stiff cock.”
I said, “Okay now add embarrassed to that list.”
David went on, “But you do see that it is a fact, you did suck my cock which made you a cocksucker.”
Every word he spoke was drilling into my mind, I couldn’t argue he was speaking the truth.
He continued, “As an example please believe that I enjoyed it beyond words but it is something I would never even consider, the last thing in the world I would ever do is take another mans cock in my mouth like you did. Especially with the lust and passion that you showed. Does that make sense?”
I said, “Yes it does but I never thought I would either.”
He interrupted, “But you did.”
I meekly replied, “I know I did and I don’t know why but it is just so big, I guess I just reacted.”
Back up, “What was just so big?”
“Your cock David, your cock is so big.”
“Very good, it’s just much easier to say what you mean, don’t evade it. How does that feel, saying that?”
“Very inferior David, I mean who tells another man how impressive his cock is?”
David smiled and said, “You do, you just did.”
“Maybe you should just admit it, out loud what it is that you became the moment you dropped to your knees?”
My eyes lowered trying to think of a way out of this, I never should have come here. “Very weakly I said I became a cocksucker David.” My cock jumped at saying it, nothing was making any sense.
He was smiling and said, “And now you can’t get it off your mind can you?”
“I answered no it seems I can’t.”
David stood up and said, “I need more water, do you?”
“I said no I’m fine thank you.” But when he stood up I could see it, so plainly outlined in his jeans. For the first time since being there it was in sight. God he was so hung and his cock looked so hard. He went to get his water and I sat quietly so unsure of what was happening, this didn’t seem to be working like I had hoped.
He returned and sat down, his cock no longer visible.
He spoke, “I would never ask you or in any way force you to do something you did not want to do. I am very glad you felt comfortable enough to talk with me and open up to me about all of this. It helps cement our friendship even stronger and means a lot to me. I’m not sure how I can help you other than to listen. I guess what I am saying is anything you want or need from this you will just need to ask for.”
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